They Are Sober, But Why Are They Jerks?
Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up. It’s seen as normal to drink, and quitting that drug can feel like breaking a social pact. So your bold, life-improving decision to not drink will mean changes almost everywhere you look. Here are some surprising (and not-so-surprising) occurrences that will inevitably happen to your relationships, your identity, even your free time, and how I’ve learned to deal with each one. The life I had before I quit drinking was a lot like Groundhog Day; I was always waiting for it to begin and always reliving the same stuff, day after day, year after year. When I finally walked away from booze at 34, my life opened up.
That said, while “recovery” and “sobriety” are different terms, they’re also used interchangeably in some instances. Plus, being in recovery typically involves maintaining sobriety, so the two are somewhat intertwined. Like that guy from that probably stolen Dane Cook sketch, drunk people just “gotta dance.” A couple beers and everyone is oblivious to their surroundings.
Feeling Like Being Sober Sucks? 12 Tips for Feeling Better
After a night of drinking, one friend gleefully conversed with a woman across the bar about the virtues of soup—for an hour. Those who have been invested in AA swear these promises are realized. Many newcomers wonder how long-time members can make these claims when sober members are still acting out.
- These new relationships can help you in your sobriety.
- Sobriety is a general term for staying away from mood and mind-altering substances.
- However, if they’re still opening and actively consuming substances in your presence, you may still need to separate yourself.
- Or maybe those crotchety old-timers like to complain about life.
Staying sober may require several strategies and supports, including seeking professional and peer support. There are people for which sobriety is a deal-breaker. This might seem like a terrible thing; this is not a terrible thing. This is a JOYOUS and wonderful thing because it easily sorts out the ones that have a weird relationship with alcohol, or the ones that just aren’t for you. It will hurt (pretty bad at first), but in time you will come to see it as the gift it is—and you won’t waste time getting to know the wrong person.
They Are Sober, But Why Are They Jerks?
Acceptance of one another and each individual’s right to walk her own path is the solution. If you feel like sobriety sucks, you need more support. Even if you are making one small choice to improve how you feel each day, like working out more or eating better, track it. You can then consistently look back, see how far you’ve come, and assess what you have accomplished along the way.
Choose A New Healthy Habit
One of my college friends used to get drunk and aggressively challenge someone to start naming states so that he could name their respective capitals. He would scream the answers and taunt everyone in the room. To this day, we have no idea why he was so mad.
Go to a 12-step meeting, find a sober group online, or call a sober friend who understands. There are millions of other people in recovery, all at different stages, and many are having a bad day just like you are. There is a lot of stuff to process as you build your life in recovery every day, and that isn’t always going https://ecosoberhouse.com/ to be easy. Developing a structured routine can help you stick to your sobriety goals, make healthy decisions, and reduce the likelihood of triggers and relapse. Create a structured daily routine, but plan for days you may experience sickness or chronic illness flare-ups that could require adjusting your routine.
It can include a medically-supervised detox, various forms of treatment, including therapy and 12-step programs, and calling upon family, friends, and professionals for additional support. In the early days, I felt that it was my responsibility to answer the question, “How come you aren’t drinking? ” I didn’t understand I could decline to answer or that I didn’t have to make sense to everyone. For a period it was, “I’m an alcoholic,” and that tended to silence anyone (for clarification, I no longer identify as an alcoholic). These days, unless I’m feeling generous, I simply say, “I don’t drink,” and leave it at that. ” Sometimes they stop talking to you altogether.
Not only because not drinking is hard, but also because we live in a society where most everyone around us drinks. However, others striving for or in sobriety may find themselves asking “Why is sobriety so hard? ” Lifestyle modifications can be uncomfortable and perhaps even generate anger and resentment. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. Yes, my drunk friend here loves [insert person here].
As with most problems, the solution is as difficult or as simple as we make it. Sometimes, consider how your behavior has affected others. Or maybe those crotchety old-timers like to complain about life. Or the newcomer has unrealistic expectations and judges others unfairly.
Similarly, a reader who commented on my post, “What Recovering Alcoholics Can Teach Us About Happiness,” discussed her negative experience in AA. She described some longtime members as “seething cauldrons of anger.” Another commenter observed that many AA members are caught in a cycle of negativity. This being sober sucks is certainly a common view for many who spend time in AA. Yes, asking for help was already listed, but it is so important that it is worth repeating. Getting through recovery’s ups and downs requires you to do more than just occasionally show up and interact with people who may be able to support you.
Drunk people are all secretly Beyoncé’s backup dancers.
While sobriety is well worth the effort required to achieve it, choosing sobriety is a significant endeavor that requires courage, difficult conversations, and significant life changes. So for some people, sobriety can be a bit scary. Due to my condition I have on countless occasions been the only sober person in the entire, bar, house, street, boat, truck bed, swimming pool, etc. My unique position has afforded me a rare glimpse into the behavioral patterns of the plastered, plowed, tipsy, smashed, buzzed, blottoed, and otherwise inebriated. Here are 15 things I have learned by being the only sober person around.
- 5 de novembro de 2020
- Sober living
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